Meltdown Monday

I was greeted this morning by the sound of a screaming kindergartener. Not just crying, but screaming like she's dying. This is nothing new, by the way. So, I am lying in my bed, wondering what is going on, but not wanting to yell because my 3 year old has found his way into my bed sometime after dh left for work, and has gone back to sleep. This is a rarity. So, not wanting to wake him, I wait. In the meantime, I hear stomping up the stairs and a bedroom door slam. Also not entirely unexpected.

As if on cue, in comes BJ. "Sarah?" Ok.. so I need to give you the background here. This child is notorious for lengthy story telling/tattling. He can't be concise. And, every story either starts with, "okay" or, "you know what?"

SO anyway... "what?" I answer in my, it's-monday-morning-and-I-was-up-past-one-it's-not-even-8-a.m.-yet-so-this-better-be-good tone.

"Okay, Jane is crying because she had a glass bowl and Alex took it and gave her a plastic one, so I gave her my glass bowl and Alex took that one away from her, and he punched me."

UGH... So, do I really need this today (or any other day, for that matter)? Not so much... but, since they are my children and I love them, I have to deal with it. Since the offending child was currently in his bedroom, as evidenced by the slamming of the door as hard as he possibly could, I decided to get in the shower. I mean, really... there are so many days that I am unable to take one unless I am completely alone in the house, and since the 3 year old was still asleep in my bed, and I had to get out and go to deliver a resume today, I kind of had to. And since the offended had obviously stopped screaming and started eating cereal, I figured it'd be ok. So I am in the shower long enough to wash and condition my hair, and I am in the middle of soaping up my body with my little pouf, and Jane comes in to talk to me. She doesn't knock. She NEVER knocks. And, while she's there, she decides this would be the time to use the toilet.

Ok, there are a total of 3 bathrooms in this house. ONE of them is MINE. (well, and dh's) So, there are two other toilets available for her use, and does she have to go WHILE I am showering???? Anyway... so she's telling me her sad tale of woe about the bowls, and I am going, ok WHY does it matter what bowl you eat out of???
So, I tell her that the bowl is just a vehicle for the cereal, so she needs to stop making such a big deal out of it, and she gives me this goofy look, and laughs, and says, "Mom, vehicle for my cereal???? A vehicle is a car. You're so silly!"

Anyway, I am tired of talking about it, so I tell her to go get her shoes on so I can freakin wash my privates IN PRIVATE. Anyway, I get out of the shower and I'm getting dressed and I hear Mason (the 3 year old) bawling downstairs. Again, Alex is involved. Mason is bawling because he wants the stairway light on, and Alex insists on turning it off. So... I am trying to get my hair dried and finish getting dressed, etc. and referee this incident...

I guess I should be grateful that it hasn't so far ended with someone throwing a bowl full of cereal and milk on the floor... So, I go downstairs, and have roughly 7 minutes before we need to leave for the bus stop. 7 minutes in which to change the babe, get his clothes on, get everyone's coats on, medicate autism boy, and get out the door w/ my resume. But dang it, I got it done. I got Mason changed and everyone out the door on time. Anyway... These are th joys of my life...
NOT.