Saturday, September 27, 2008

Millions of peaches...

peaches for free...

Millions of peaches are what it seems like I've canned today. Well, not me by myself. My mother-in-law, my friend, Frank, and my friend, Nej all helped. And thank goodness, because we started a little after 9 this morning. And I just finished washing the last dish, and it's 10 minutes to 9 p.m.

I am exhausted. We started with about 10 bushels of peaches, and we did 124 quarts of sliced peaches, (though we lost four in the cooking process) and we did 40 jars of jam so far. I still have about a bushel left at my house, well, maybe a bushel and a half is more like it. And Nej, Frank, and my MIL all took a bunch home. My MIL took about a bushel with her. With as exhausted as I am, though, I feel such a sense of accomplishment!

We worked hard, even my dh helped, and was SO sweet about it. And he took care of the kids while I worked, too. My ds, Big Red, helped us peel and even squished some of the really soft ripe ones for jam with his hands. He worked with us for a few hours. It was great!

We borrowed the camp stove from my MIL as well, so we could have two burners running outside, which helped a ton. We didn't turn the a/c on until about 4:30 or so, when it was about 77 degrees in the house.

Here's the other awesome thing. 10 bushels of peaches, we picked them off the trees in the church orchard yesterday. And the great thing? They really were free! The church had picked all they needed, and they were begging people to come and glean what was left. It's actually quite a shame, because there are SO many peaches left that they will NEVER be able to use them all.

Another interesting thing about it is, we had a very late frost this year, and there were several stakes that were asked to fast on a certain day for the crop, because the fear was that the frost had killed all the peaches that had started to grow. They were worried about even having enough to fill the needs of the church cannery. And not only were there plenty for that, there were plenty for us to go pick about 10 bushels in about 90 minutes, and there were STILL so many on the trees. It was amazing to see!

So, WHO says Heavenly Father doesn't hear and answer our prayers?

Monday, September 22, 2008

My child

is a freak...

I realized this as I was video taping her while dh was helping her with her homework. She was complaining that she couldn't do it, and I sensed a meltdown, so I started videoing, and sure enough, the meltdown ensued, and is continuing as I type.

If I was any good at computer stuff, I'd load the thing on YouTube and you could see for yourself.

The good news is that Alex is starting to get a tiny bit better, so in five years....


the vacation is definitely over...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Kids are a pain


Especially when you're playing single mom for the week.

I took Jordan to the church for her Wednesday night activities, and the plan was to be gone for 10 minutes. So I left Jared in charge of the little people, and asked Brenden to do his chore.

Now, keep in mind, that these are the two delinquents from YESTERDAY'S issues.

So, Jared did a great job! He even called me when he was having a problem, which I had forgotten to tell him to do. So I was pleased with that.

It wasn't until after I went to the bathroom when they all went to bed that I found out there was an issue.

First of all, I had to pee since I walked through the door from dropping Jordan off. But I was making sure lunches got made for tomorrow and that kids got the ice cream I promised them.

Then when they all finally finished that, we said prayers (a few minutes late) and I went upstairs to tuck them in. As soon as I got upstairs, the phone started ringing, and it was the primary president asking me some questions. So I finally got off the phone and then came downstairs and talked to Alex for a few minutes, before finally excusing myself to empty the bladder.

When I went in, the aroma of cat litter stung my nose. Brenden had not cleaned the bathroom. DANG IT! So I went upstairs to get him out of bed, and make him do it. Well, when I got upstairs, I heard someone crying. It was Jane.

I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was scared. When she tried to tell me why, I couldn't understand her because she had her hands in front of her mouth. Or so I thought.

She mumbles when she's upset, hell, she mumbles sometimes when she's not upset. So I had to ask her FOUR times AFTER she took her hands down from her mouth before I could finally understand her.

Guess what was wrong with her???? The music teacher, who is a shrew and should NOT be teaching children, told the kids that if they chew gum while they sing they could choke on it and would turn blue and die.

SHE'S a FREAKING FIRST GRADER. It took everything I had not to call the music teacher a stupid bitch in front of my six year old. I was LIVID. You shouldn't say that to ANY elementary aged kids, in my opinion. But whatever. So, I told Jane that it wasn't completely accurate, and I said, "you don't chew gum anyway, so don't worry about it."
And, she's still bawling and says, "but I did once, at home."
I said, "yes, but you weren't SINGING while you were chewing it, and you didn't choke on it and turn blue and die, did you?"
"no" sniff, sniff, sniff.
"Ok, so don't worry about it. You will be fine. If you were to choke on gum, you most likely would be able to swallow it anyway, so don't worry."
"Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?"
"No, baby, but Jo will be home soon. Just close your eyes and I will come and check on you in a bit."

I always do go check on her, and she's most always asleep by the time I do. And the reason I told this story is because I had to let you see how long it took. I figured Brenden would be asleep by now for SURE.

I opened the door to his room, and up pops his little head. Now, at this point, I am LIVID, but not so much at him as Shrew Bitch, so I had to use my energy to keep from screaming at him to get his ass downstairs and clean the bathroom.

Through clenched teeth I said, "Brenden, you need to go immediately downstairs and clean that bathroom, it hasn't even been TOUCHED."

He must have known I was upset, because he said, "yes, Sarah" in the meekest tone I've ever heard from him... So, he went down and did it. And I started a load of laundry and realized that they didn't sort the laundry like I'd asked either. SCREW it. In fifty years, is it going to matter???? NOPE.

So, I just decided to let it go for tonight and tomorrow, there will be a mom, sweetly standing over those kids with a spatula in hand making them do their work. I decided while sitting there that I am going to get the stupid chore charts done when I get home. That way, I could have just done the bathroom myself and he could lose his sticker for it. OH well, live and learn...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

It's a full moon

and you can sure tell it by the way my kids are behaving.

This morning started out with Autism Boy having a melt down over something. I can't even remember what anymore.

Then, his younger sister had a meltdown about not wanting to go to school for over an hour. It was absolutely insane.

Then, I had no energy to make the jelly I am supposed to make. I went out to buy cat food and wipes, since I was completely out. And while I was there, I bought fruit snacks. And thus the beginning of my issues.

First off, I bought some chicken that was about to expire, because it ends up being a buck off. So the short version of that story is that I dropped about $100 at Sam's club. Which began the whole self loathing/shame spiral thing, even though I didn't buy ANYTHING we didn't NEED.
So, I was already feeling crappy about myself, and then Mason started yelling at me about wanting a snack, etc.

I ignored him, but he just kept screaming, louder and longer. And then I hear the cat make a horrendous noise, and I go out, and sure enough, my worst fear has been realized. She yakked on the carpet. And while I was standing there looking at her, she rewarded me by doing it again. It's not nearly as funny in real life as it was in Shrek 2. In fact, it's not funny at all...

So, a few minutes later, the middle school children are home, and I ask our oldest to please get a baby wipe and clean up the cat puke. So, then what I get is a lot of complaint. "Why do I have to do it? Why can't Alex do it?" So, after a few minute of that, I decide it's just easier to do it myself. Which almost makes me vomit.

So about 45 minutes later, the other kids come home from the bus. They're all clamoring for a snack. So I send Middle Child out to the van to bring in the fruit snacks I'd purchased and left in the van. So they all have fruit snacks.

Fast forward an hour and a half. Jane is playing in the water in the bathroom, because heaven forbid she use the bathroom, wipe, wash her hands, and get out. OH NO. She's got to play in the water, and act like a big dork. So, I am waiting to use the facilities while she's in there playing. I finally tell her to turn the water off (more so I don't pee my pants than anything else) and she comes out.

I go in, have to wipe the seat off (HOW does this happen with girls?) and I sit down. While I am sitting there draining, I realize that behind the sink there are a BUNCH of fruit snack wrappers.

We have a pedestal sink, so it's basically a U shape behind it, and it's made a convenient hiding place for wrappers after Autism Boy has eaten stuff from the pantry or wherever without permission... So after I am finished, I pick up all the wrappers. THIRTEEN in all...

My first thought was Alex. But he couldn't have eaten that many. It had only been 10 minutes since his tech left, and there is NO way he could have gotten that many down without her catching him. But it had to have been him... right? That's totally his MO for sneaking food.

So I call him into the office and ask him why he did it, etc, and I know it was him because that's how he does it all the time. And his response was, "maybe I am sleepwalking while I do it"

WHATEVER... So I ask him, "Are there any left?"
and he tells me he's going to go check. So while he's doing that, I accuse Jane of taking them. Because SURELY it couldn't have been the boys. But she freaks out and tells me it wasn't her, and she's not lying to me, because she can't open them the way that they're open. And she's right. She can't... And then I hear someone go into the garage... and I asked Jared who it was. Jared told me it was Alex.

And then when I mentioned to him that I found these wrappers, he says, "are you serious?"
So Alex comes back in, and I said, "What were you doing out there buddy?"
And he said, "Jordan told me that the fruit snacks were in the van, but I can't find them."

So, in that instant I knew that it wasn't him. So, I ask Jordan to go get Brenden, and then I tell Jared not to leave. I bring them in and have them close the office door.

So, here's how the conversation goes :

Ok, guys. Which one of you took fruit snacks? Because you guys tried to make it look like Alex did it, but the fatal mistake was that he went looking for the box and doesn't know where it is. (thank goodness Alex can't lie to save his life)

So then I get, "well the two youngest kids take stuff sometimes"

And I said, "yeah, they do, but they can't open those packages, neither of them can. So which one of you was it?"

You know, as a parent, you think you're prepared for everything. I was SURE it was one of them. Once you have it figured out for the most part, you think you shouldn't be shocked by the admission of guilt. Until it comes. Such was this case, when Brenden was the first to speak.

"both of us"

SERIOUSLY???? I am not sure if my mouth dropped open or not, but it sure felt like it wanted to. I tried to remain stoic, but I'm not sure how good a job I did.

So, between the two of them, they ate 1/3 of the package. And I said, "First of all, that was your dinner. And secondly, you two will go up to the loft while we eat and discuss what your punishment will be. AND you will apologize to your brother, because you were going to let him take the fall for what you did. You did it purposefully to make it look like it was him so you wouldn't get in trouble. Would you like to trip an old lady with her walker, or take advantage of a mentally handicapped person while you're at it?"

Ok, so the last part may have been a little harsh, but I was SO shocked, I just didn't know what to say. And appalled...
So, I get dinner on the table while the guilty are upstairs. While I am putting it on, Jane starts shrieking that she doesn't like pot pie, and she wants a sandwich, etc. So I tell her FINE make a sandwich. We had just sat down to eat when Jordan's mom came over to get her for the school's open house/meet the teacher night.

So, I figured I'd bounce it off her, since Shad's not home and one of the offending party is her offspring. So I tell her that I told them that was dinner, etc, and that they were upstairs discussing their consequence, and I came back in and sat down. Alex said, "Hey mom, Jane got one of her pieces of toast stuck in the toaster, so I unplugged it, and got one of the squeezie things, you know, that you squeeze together to pick stuff up, and got it out for her."

"you mean the tongs?"

"yeah. I forgot what they were called"

I said, "Good thinking, buddy, thanks for unplugging it and doing it safely" and he said, "sure! The first time I used my finger, but then I grabbed the tongs and used them"

I said, "be careful, you could have burned yourself"

"I did."


" I burned my pointer finger a little, but it's a good thing it's my right hand" (he's a lefty... gotta love that autism logic, huh?)

So I looked at it and told him to put it under cold water while I get Mason some applesauce, since he won't eat pot pie either. Then he asks me if he should get some ice for it. I said, "yes, that's a good idea."

Jane says, "Well I need some ice too."

I said, "No you don't, Jane, just eat."

She starts bawling her head off. "But my thumb hurts really bad"

And I look at her and realize that SHE burned herself too.... UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So, the verdict is that the guilties will be doing Alex's chore this week in addition to their own, and the fruit snacks in question is their dinner. I thought I was tired before, but I am downright DEAD now...

BTW, did I mention that I'm single parenting this week???? I'm running away...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

He said, she said...

It was 7:07 a.m. My super hero, Autism Boy, came in my room and said, "Mom, Jordan just threw me on the ground."

I am trying to make this compute through my sleepy fog...

"what??????" I said...

"Jordan threw me on the ground for no reason" he repeated.

Now, if I wasn't just awakened from a dead sleep, I may have had the forethought to ask, "what were you doing?" but since such was not the case, I said, "go tell her I said to come here."

So, a minute later, Jordan comes up. "Yes?" she asks in her superior, pre-teen tone.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Well, Alex was squeezing the cat to death, and he was meowing like crazy and clawing at his shirt to get away, so I pulled him off"

"and you threw him on the ground"

"I didn't throw him on the ground, I pulled him off, and then I let go of him, and he fell on his back on the floor"


So, it's shaping up to be a great morning!

Monday, September 1, 2008

It's been 5 weeks

and I am still off...

This morning we went to McDonalds (which is like going to a bar when your an alcoholic for me) to have breakfast. And it was hard, it was the first time I've been INSIDE a McDonalds since I quit drinking coke. But I did it. I had Hi-C Orange. I am doing better than I was. It's been a lot easier than the first 3 weeks. So that is my update.

I am hoping to be better about blogging, since the kids are back in school. So look for more from me soon! :)