Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Kids are a pain


Especially when you're playing single mom for the week.

I took Jordan to the church for her Wednesday night activities, and the plan was to be gone for 10 minutes. So I left Jared in charge of the little people, and asked Brenden to do his chore.

Now, keep in mind, that these are the two delinquents from YESTERDAY'S issues.

So, Jared did a great job! He even called me when he was having a problem, which I had forgotten to tell him to do. So I was pleased with that.

It wasn't until after I went to the bathroom when they all went to bed that I found out there was an issue.

First of all, I had to pee since I walked through the door from dropping Jordan off. But I was making sure lunches got made for tomorrow and that kids got the ice cream I promised them.

Then when they all finally finished that, we said prayers (a few minutes late) and I went upstairs to tuck them in. As soon as I got upstairs, the phone started ringing, and it was the primary president asking me some questions. So I finally got off the phone and then came downstairs and talked to Alex for a few minutes, before finally excusing myself to empty the bladder.

When I went in, the aroma of cat litter stung my nose. Brenden had not cleaned the bathroom. DANG IT! So I went upstairs to get him out of bed, and make him do it. Well, when I got upstairs, I heard someone crying. It was Jane.

I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was scared. When she tried to tell me why, I couldn't understand her because she had her hands in front of her mouth. Or so I thought.

She mumbles when she's upset, hell, she mumbles sometimes when she's not upset. So I had to ask her FOUR times AFTER she took her hands down from her mouth before I could finally understand her.

Guess what was wrong with her???? The music teacher, who is a shrew and should NOT be teaching children, told the kids that if they chew gum while they sing they could choke on it and would turn blue and die.

SHE'S a FREAKING FIRST GRADER. It took everything I had not to call the music teacher a stupid bitch in front of my six year old. I was LIVID. You shouldn't say that to ANY elementary aged kids, in my opinion. But whatever. So, I told Jane that it wasn't completely accurate, and I said, "you don't chew gum anyway, so don't worry about it."
And, she's still bawling and says, "but I did once, at home."
I said, "yes, but you weren't SINGING while you were chewing it, and you didn't choke on it and turn blue and die, did you?"
"no" sniff, sniff, sniff.
"Ok, so don't worry about it. You will be fine. If you were to choke on gum, you most likely would be able to swallow it anyway, so don't worry."
"Mommy, can I sleep in your bed?"
"No, baby, but Jo will be home soon. Just close your eyes and I will come and check on you in a bit."

I always do go check on her, and she's most always asleep by the time I do. And the reason I told this story is because I had to let you see how long it took. I figured Brenden would be asleep by now for SURE.

I opened the door to his room, and up pops his little head. Now, at this point, I am LIVID, but not so much at him as Shrew Bitch, so I had to use my energy to keep from screaming at him to get his ass downstairs and clean the bathroom.

Through clenched teeth I said, "Brenden, you need to go immediately downstairs and clean that bathroom, it hasn't even been TOUCHED."

He must have known I was upset, because he said, "yes, Sarah" in the meekest tone I've ever heard from him... So, he went down and did it. And I started a load of laundry and realized that they didn't sort the laundry like I'd asked either. SCREW it. In fifty years, is it going to matter???? NOPE.

So, I just decided to let it go for tonight and tomorrow, there will be a mom, sweetly standing over those kids with a spatula in hand making them do their work. I decided while sitting there that I am going to get the stupid chore charts done when I get home. That way, I could have just done the bathroom myself and he could lose his sticker for it. OH well, live and learn...


sara :) said...

Can I see what your chore charts look like? I really need help--we've got the 9 year old in a semi-routine with his chores but I need to crack the whip on the other three.

Work, slaves!!!

Frisbies Forever said...

School people are making me crazy this week too.