Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Men designed the toilet

in an age when women still had to clean them. I want a toilet that is one piece, with a wide rim, no seat to lift up or down. Because if there was no seat, there would be nowhere for those disgusting pee crystals to form when little boys miss. I hate the toilet. I know it's a necessary evil, and I know that I would much rather have one than not, but SERIOUSLY... I am SO tired of cleaning crusty pee off the back of the toilet seat that my son misses when he does his chores. I technically am not supposed to have to clean the toilet. Or the bathroom at all, for that matter. But when you leave it up to a 10 year old boy, it doesn't necessarily get cleaned the way you would like. And when you ask a 35 year old boy to do it before his family comes over for dinner, well... it doesn't get done at all. So, I cleaned the toilet. GROSS. This, however, is not the most disturbing part of the story. The most disturbing part is that MY toilet in the master bathroom is AWFUL. And I am not supposed to clean the toilets. At all. So it is growing organisms of who knows what kind... So I go through the painstaking, germ laden trouble of cleaning the downstairs toilet, and neglect my own.

Well, imagine my horror when I sent my child up to my room with something to put in my closet, and she comes down to tell me that GRANDPA IS USING MY BATHROOM!
ACK! If I had known he was going to use that bathroom, I would have cleaned THAT toilet. I was mortified. What do you do? I told my husband he was in trouble for not cleaning the toilets when I asked him to. A lot of good that did. They're still not clean.

This brings me to another subject... Seat up or down. Yes, I totally get that you need it up to pee. But here's a thought. What happens when you drop a rock from a bridge into a pond? Big splash, right? Well, same principal applies when your peeing into a small body of water from a few feet up. It splashes. So, here's a thought... SIT down to pee. There is nothing more thrilling than sitting with guests at dinner and having a lull in conversation filled with the melodious sounds of an 8 year old peeing. There is no question what it is. And it's a pleasant thing to think about while you are eating mashed potatoes with a big old lake of butter in the center. Why don't we discuss the digestive properties of corn while we're at it. ICK.

The point is, if you sit down to pee, not only do you save your family from embarrassing moments with guests, you forever end the age old argument of leaving the seat up or down.
Problem solved, effect is a cleaner toidy for everyone.
Next I will tackle world hunger.


sara :) said...


And I certainly didn't get the underside of the inside of the toilet all nice and crusty either. My stuff has one direction and that is DOWN!

Kim Scraps! said...

Too funny W, but why are people going into your master bath. Don't you have to go through your bedroom to get there??
Kim B

Connie (aka momof5gents) said...

LOL! FYI from one mom who tried enforcing the sitting down rule: while it seems like it would solve the problem, it also creates new ones. I won't share the details out here in public. ;)

Welcome to blogspot!

jenalih said...

This is one area on where I just happened to get lucky. My hubby is a sitter, so therefore my boys are sitters. However, they can still make an awful mess (like when they forget to make sure it is "pointed" in the right direction!)...believe me they do, all the way to the opposite wall. I am greatful it is still less mess than standing though, mainly because it rarely happens...thank goodness.